Chapter 1

This is the day that the Lord hath made.....

I love that song/verse.  My Dad used to sing it every Sunday morning when we were getting ready for church.  Usually I'm singing it in my head on Sunday mornings now too.  

I feel rather happy today and thankful today.  What's there not to be happy about?  The Crimson Tide is undefeated, the weather is beautiful, the list goes on.... So, as promised, I'm going to try and retace my steps through infertility as well as the spiritual journey I unknowingly took at the same time.  I really wish I had kept a journal of feelings through it all b/c I tend to forget pain easily.  Since SO much happened over such a long time, I'll have to do chapters -- here's Chapter 1.

In 2004, my sister had a baby.  Oh that baby boy!  I had no idea how much he would change my life.  I guess he started immediately b/c before he was even born, Billy and I decided it was time for us to start a family as well.  As Jay's birth came and went, I began to think somthing might be wrong.  I spoke with my OBGYN about the issue and I was blindly put on clomid.  I was thrilled and excited that this would finally be the answer.  A couple of months came and went...nothing.  With each passing month, my anxiety grew.

At this point, my Mother became increasingly concerned.  Actually, she "knew" before I even asked for Clomid, urging me to see the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist).  I truly believe in a Mother's intuition now.  Shomehow she "knew" something was drastically wrong.  Mom would tirelessly search the internet on what she thought I might have....Endometriosis.  Is she crazy?  I thought.  No one in my family has endometriosis.  She's nuts.

Mom has a not so subtle way of pushing you to do things you might not want to do, but maybe something you need to do.  In this case, she pushed me (kicking and screaming) into seeing the RE.  I thought it was insane, but to please her, I went.  I remember sitting in the waiting room, slightly embarrassed thinking, "This is ridiculous, I'm not like these people, I don't need this."  Billy was sitting beside me, always calming me down, telling me there was absolutely NO reason to be embarrased.  After all, this was the doctor's office.  I can't begin to describe how wonderful he's been through this process...but more on that later, I'm sure!

They finally called my name and Billy and I went to talk to Dr. Houserman. She explained the in's and out's of infertility.  What might be wrong, etc.  I sat there, still thinking -- "This is insane, why am I here?"  At the very end of our conversation, I mentioned a very small symptom of endometriosis I dealt with occasionally (I had NO other symptom at all), but I made sure to say -- "I really don't think it's anything to worry about."  She immediately put me in a room and did an ultrasound.  I can remember the ultrasound tech being VERY confused by my ultrasound.  After it was over, the nurse said, "wait here, I'll be back."  I sat at the cracked door and listened to her conversation -- "I've never seen anyting like this," she continued.

At this point, panic set in.  Dr. Houserman called us back in her office and told us there was some sort of cyst or tumor in my uterus. Her guess was that it was an endometrioma, resulting from endometriosis, but she couldn't be sure until I went into surgery.

So, surgery it was.  I was nervous, but a little excited, again thinking "this will be it, this will be my cure."  Of couse, now I started to think my Mom really might be "psychic."  She knew I had endometriosis.

In December '06, I had sugery and Dr Houserman removed an endometrioma the size of a baseball, plus stage 3 and 4 endometriosis (there are 4 stages of endometriosis, with stage 4 being the most severe).  Mom was right!  and I was relieved.  It was over and now it would be our time to have a family.

If I only could have known -- it was just the beginning.